I have a headache. Have had a headache all Tuesday morning. Now it's 3pm and I just have a little more to go on my J.O.B. and I want to head home. Lately when I get these headaches I go home and stay off my laptop, don't turn on any major lights and keep it very dim and watch movies. Lately I think the headaches have arrived due to my brain running a million miles an hour. What with the three businesses that I have been trying to run. Especially launching The Self Loved Actor and the upcoming Workshop on the 26th.
I check my emails on my iphone. There it is. An email from my talent agent. I check the details. Meaning. I check the date, the time, the callback date, the shoot date. Glance over the copy. I can do this. I can do this. It's tomorrow morning at 11:30am. Yes I can do this. I can make it there. If you have never worked with a talent agent before, then here is little tip - RESPOND as soon as you can. Gather the information. And let them know. It's a pro move to reply right away. I reply right away.
Terror sets in. A wave of fear crawls all over my body. Wait!!! Wait! Wait! What did you just do? You feel like absolute crap. You can't work on this tonight. And if you want to show up like a pro then you need to be off book. And there is no way you can get off book in one morning.
I make it home. I don't turn on any major lights. I make the commitment that it is more important for me to take care of myself RIGHT NOW. That if I was to print out the sides and start memorizing that I would just continue to feel like crap. And my brain didn't want to absorb anything. It wanted a movie, some food and sleep. Which is what I did. I laid off the laptop. Stayed off Facebook. Took a bath. Did NOT apply for any auditions. This was self-care.
I am in bed. Sipping Sleepy Time. And smiling. Because I feel better. That is huge progress for me. To take care of myself like this - is really new behavior. I am from the school of Barrel Through It. But I am learning that if I'm not taking care of myself - I'm not taking care of my acting career. I go to sleep.
I'm up. I know what I have to do. I print the sides. I read the sides and realize that I only have 4 lines to memorize for the audition. Piece of cake. I copy and paste those four lines on a separate sheet and enlarge it. Tape it to my wall and begin to play. I make breakfast. I drink coffee. I play with the lines. I don't have to be anywhere til I leave for the audition. And the universe provides. I have a cancelation so I can continue to focus on the audition.
The clothes I need for the audition are packed. I am off book. I have a copy of my headshot and resume. (Which I recently needed to be reminded that every audition - I need to bring a headshot and resume.) Did I mention that I have memorized the lines. Easily. Pasting them on the wall helps. I would come back to the lines on the wall every 30 minutes or so.
I arrive early. I run over to the Whole Foods to use the bathroom and change clothes. For some reason I don't like changing in the bathroom at the audition. But sometimes it can not be helped. Put product in hair. Make myself look like a "Dad." And go and sign in and Breath!
I am sitting and breathing. Even saw a great friend at the audition - Jay Olson. I keep breathing. I know the lines. All I have to so is go in and say them simply and with energy. I am watching guys go in, some are bringing sides in others are not. I decide, I will walk into the room with no sides. My affirmation is to walk in with confidence and lightness.
I am called in. She begins by saying my last name HEEEEEEYYYwood! I go with it. Have fun! I am light and confident. I sit down and we go over the sides and I know the lines. I am connecting with the reader. The casting director says, "Perfect!! Just Perfect!"
I am beaming. Not because of the compliments of my work, but just how I approached my audition. I really took care of myself. In the past, I would have tried and tried to make it happen. Which is just fear, I believe. But when I took care of myself first, the universe responded by taking care of me. I was able to show up as a professional! I was able to have fun! And I took a huge step in my next casting. This or Something Even better - says Wende Braun.